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Superfoods Deconstructed

Let’s deconstruct the notion of superfoods. What are the unwritten rules that determine whether something is or is not called a superfood?

A superfood should be:

Expensive.
Should seem exotic.
Should come from somewhere far away. The more fossil fuel used to get it here, the better.
Even better if the faraway place seems really cool and glamorous.
Should be unfamiliar. Even better if you’ll have to develop a taste for it.
It helps if it’s something that you wouldn’t ordinarily consider edible.
A food that someone else’s ancestors ate it, especially if they seem way cool.
It helps if they have darker skin than you.
It should be something consumed in small amounts.
It must be packaged, and have a label declaring it to be a superfood.
The packaging can be colorful with a graphic of a babe in a leotard, or plain with lots of big words.
The packaging can be rustic, brown, organic and hand-made, or high-tech with shiny mylar foil.
It helps if it’s been extracted and/or concentrated, especially if an unfamiliar process was used.
Doesn’t matter if the process is an ancient one, or something very high-tech.
If a familiar process was used, such as making tea, it should be called an extract.

A superfood should not be:

Grown in your own country of residence.
Something that you can buy at the local Farmer’s Market.
Anything familiar.
Anything your own ancestors ate.
Anything that seems ordinary.
It helps if it's not be a whole food. Extracts are sexier than foods.
Something unpackaged, that you have to put into a bag yourself.
A familiar vegetable or fruit. Something that you already know and like.
Something that you can afford to eat in quantity, such as dark green leafy vegetables.
Anything that you can buy from the bulk bins, such as whole grains.
Something that you can prepare yourself, such as whole grains.